Seeking Peace in a Broken World
Later today, I will have my next round of chemotherapy. Usually, treatment occurs early in the morning, but this time, it is the afternoon, giving me the opportunity to be productive and present.
I made myself an iced coffee, sat in my comfy chair and started to listen to some spirituality music to prepare for the day. The song that was serving as my morning’s soundtrack was Peace Prayer by Gen Verde. It is a beautiful rendition of the Prayer of St. Francis.
As the Peace Prayer played in the background, I started to review some emails and I was drawn to a UN report from Geneva, discussing the death of an Indigenous leader who presented at the UN in 2023 but was missing after returning home to Nicaragua. I then read about the conditions in Haiti where the violence is just heartbreaking and feels like it is never ending.
My scrolling continued, with news of hospitals being destroyed in Lebanon, an update on Ebola spreading in the Congo, protecting children online, the blocking of life-saving medicine in Gaza, and refugees being sent back to Afghanistan agains their will. This was just the first page.
As I read these briefings, and the Peace Prayer played in the background, my heart was stirring.
I didn’t feel the urge to “fix” the world as I sometimes do. I didn’t feel a sudden burst of energy to take action and share this news with others. And I wasn’t overwhelmed by the sadness of the state of the world which I admit, I process daily.
Rather, I was struck by how far we are away from peace and justice. I was moved by the suffering before us, and felt the patient spiritual nudge to do what I can, what we can, as an instrument of peace in our corner of the world. To be an instrument of peace is one of my main vocations, my life’s calling.
My favorite quote on vocation is this from Frederic Buechner: "The kind of work God usually calls you to is the kind of work (a) that you need most to do and (b) that the world most needs to have done... The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."
I wonder if this is the roadmap to pursue individually, and collectively- to be an instrument of God’s peace in a world that is desperately wounded and suffering.
What if this became a goal for us all? Not to achieve what society sets as the ideal, but to finally focus on what really matters.
As I prepare for my 21st round of chemo, in addition to loving and caring for my family, I am clear on what I am called to do and why to do it, but I am not always aware of how. This is the part where I must surrender and allow God to lead.
For the next couple of days, I will not feel well. I will struggle to accomplish the most simplest of tasks. But I will rebound, and after some rest, I will return to seeking an answer to this question. Who is God calling me to be is quite clear, but how to be God’s instrument remains a question I continue to seek clarity and direction. I imagine I will be seeking until God calls me home (hopefully a very long time from now).
