Entering the Garden: A Pre-Surgery Reflection
My spiritual path moved to a deeper level when I first understood how scripture is a living word. You can read the same passage one day, and then on another find a while new lesson or inspiration.
Because of my very blessed life, there are few nights when my spiritual imagination took me to the Garden of Gethsemane. You may recall this is where Jesus went the night before his suffering and death Matthew 26:36-46.
I have been to this garden in my mind and heart before, often on Holy Thursday. I imagined what it must have felt like to be Peter, James, and John, who could not keep their eyes open (there have been a few moments in Church and in life when I could relate to them as my eyes closed and I pray I did not snore).
I have tried to imagine what it was like for Jesus who knew he was being betrayed, and that he would suffer immensely. In all his vulnerability, when he prays for his cup to be passed from him (Matthew 26:39), I could never relate, and still can’t. Is that not the sign of an incredibly blessed life?
Tonight, or really this very early morning, I woke up to complete by “cleansing” with a pre-surgery ensure drink. I said some prayers and read through the hundreds of comments, messages, and emails that so many of you took time to send- thank you! I saw names of friends from all different chapters of my life, and my heart stirred. Your love and prayers gave me a gift that Jesus did not have in that garden.
I do not feel alone, in fact, just the opposite. I know your eyes may too be heavy (Matthew 26:41), but your prayers comfort me as I surrender to the love of God.
The surrendering that Jesus would experience in the garden led to extreme suffering, humiliation, and ultimately his death. God, I pray, calls me down a different path, a path toward something new.
I am uncertain as to what this new is, but I know that I do not walk alone. Your companionship, from wherever our lives have crossed, is blessing. Your prayer, is blessing. As is your love. I also know of the love of our God, that dwells within each of us, and seeks our love, unity, and peace.
How blessed am I for all of you, and to share this earthy journey together? I pray that this path, by God’s amazing grace, leads us all toward deeper unity and togetherness. May we never feel alone or abandoned. May we trust, even in the heaviness of the moment, in the will of God that will ultimately lead us back home.
My suffering, if we can even call it that, does not compare to that of Jesus in the garden. My imagination can only take me so far. Yet, I know, for others, this garden is a familiar place. Like Jesus, their “soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death (Matthew 26:37).”
Many are suffering, be it due to war, violence, extreme weather, and unjust systems, or lack of mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional health. Others enter this familiar garden often feel alone and abandoned, and for that we have work to do.
I am uncertain as to how God will use this experience in my life to minister to others. I hope, for now, it is through my faith and my writing. I imagine in time, there will be opportunities to accompany others at their Gethsemane, and at their Calvary.
This early morning, as I accept this as God’s will for me, I, too, surrender to God’s love. I do so, not alone, but surrounded by a community of love that will accompany me into whatever might await.
Thank you for accompanying me into and out of the garden. Thank you for staying with me. May this day be one of healing and of love, not just for me, but for us all.